WINNER!! WINNER!! WINNER!!

Bear with me.  This guy is today's winner.

West 52 guy in the black 80s Mercury Grand Marquis this morning.
#1.  You were obviously very clever about hiding the fact you were talking on your cell phone while driving.  Leaning down low on the door armrest and barely holding the phone against your face as if you were leaning on your hand was a marvelous deception technique!  You would have had everyone fooled except for.........
#2.  You were leaning down so far to the left that you kept drifting into the lane to your left,  Could you not tell you were driving by Braille?  The rest of us certainly could which was why we were honking at you to get back in your lane and put the phone down.
#3.  Passing on the right of a slow vehicle is usually a bad idea because speeds generally drop as you move to the right.  Tailgating the car in the right lane will not make them move any faster.
#4.  If needed other drivers will work together to box you in when you have shown that you are in such a hurry you are willing to put the rest of us at risk so you can hurry up and get to work to catch up on your slothing.
#5.  The K9 decal with the dogs picture on the side of your car, which is very similar if not identical to those used by law enforcement, will not endear you to the loving kind heart of the CHP motor officer behind me that has been watching your reckless driving for the last three miles.

WINNER!!  WINNER!!  WINNER!!

Let me know how many tickets you got when he caught up with you.  And thank you for the morning commute entertainment.

Incoming call

Yo Honda boy on Ruffin Road.  Stopping in the middle of the street to answer your phone does not count as parking.  See that big open area with all the white lines next to you?  That's called a parking lot.  Had you driven in there and brought your vehicle to a complete stop between any two said white lines you would then have been officially parked and therefore not subject to the public humiliation of being an example for one my famous PSA's.

Am I not going fast enough for you?

To the blonde in the red Mustang getting off the 15 south at CMB today.  Hint, it is against the law to change lanes during a turn or when going through an intersection.  Hence your attempt to cross two lanes and cut me off while making a right turn was not only illegal but unsuccessful.  It was quite entertaining to see you dive back to the right when you couldn't get in front of my wimpy little Neon and even more entertaining to see the smoke coming from your ears as my poor car fought valiantly against the never ending powers of gravity to climb the hill toward Ruffin Road with your powerhouse of a car stuck behind me.  Thankfully at the top of the hill I was able to quickly accelerate to 25 mph when I turned onto Ruffin Road, which apparently was still not fast enough for you as the smoke coming from your ears was now turning multiple colors.  Thankfully for your frazzled nerves you were able to change lanes and quickly reach 50 mph or so to get to your ever so important job,  Have a wonderful day Ma'am!!

Am I not going fast enough for you?

To the blonde in the red Mustang getting off the 15 south at CMB today.  Hint, it is against the law to change lanes during a turn or when going through an intersection.  Hence your attempt to cross two lanes and cut me off while making a right turn was not only illegal but unsuccessful.  It was quite entertaining to see you dive back to the right when you couldn't get in front of my wimpy little Neon and even more entertaining to see the smoke coming from your ears as my poor car fought valiantly against the never ending powers of gravity to climb the hill toward Ruffin Road with your powerhouse of a car stuck behind me.  Thankfully at the top of the hill I was able to quickly accelerate to 25 mph when I turned onto Ruffin Road, which apparently was still not fast enough for you as the smoke coming from your ears was now turning multiple colors.  Thankfully for your frazzled nerves you were able to change lanes and quickly reach 50 mph or so to get to your ever so important job,  Have a wonderful day Ma'am!!