Welcome to my world.

I have been told I have a unique way of describing the things I see as we spin out of control on this rock we call Earth. So after a bit of thought and a bit of encouragement from a few friends I have decided to share with the rest of our round rock inhabitants my daily experiences with the Human race. I know the language may be a bit much sometimes but I will do my best to remain politically correct. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry but if you know me at all you should know better. I hope you all enjoy.

ATM Adventure

60+ year old white lady with dreadlocks doing her best Rastafarian act at the ATM: Are you waiting for the machine?
Me: Yes Ma'am.
Granny Marley: Can you stand farther away?
Me: I can't get any farther away without being in the parking lot.
Granny Marley: There's a law against being too close.
Me: Lady I have a little girl with me. You think I am going to mug you with my daughter here?

Proper way to make a left turn: Slow and activate left turn signal. Check for clear traffic and make left turn.

Improper way to make left turn: Pull to the right just enough so the vehicle behind you cannot get past and stop for no fucking reason. Look around like the single-digit IQ knucklehead you are, realize you have no idea what the hell you are doing operating a motor vehicle and then make left turn from the far right side of the road IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!