Turn signals

Just a quick remedial course on turn signals today.

Turn signal: A mechanical device located on the steering wheel which activates an electrical circuit which in turn controls blinking lights located at the front and rear of a motor vehicle. The purpose of this two part system is to alert other drivers of your intent to turn or change lanes by using a blinking light as a signal, hence the term "turn signal". By pushing down or pulling up on the turn signal lever you activate the electrical part of the system and nothing more. The reason this is so important to remember is safety.

By activating your turn signal you do not magically have the power to make the car next to you disappear, thus making room for you in that lane!!! Nor does your turn signal mean that you can change lanes in front of a vehicle going much faster than you. If you can't operate the turn signal in sequence with the accelerator to safely change lanes without slowing traffic down in the process you should really consider buying a bus pass. It should be obvious to you at this point that you drive slower than a three legged sloth and have all the common sense of (insert your local dumbass politician's name here).

Subway Silliness

Subway refuses my money.

Had a coupon for buy one get one of equal or lesser value free. Well kinda......
Seems Acneboy says that the pastrami that I would pay full price for is a premium sandwich and the meatball marinara that Angel wanted is covered and should be free. But Acneboy says the coupon is not good for premium sandwiches. So I take a deep breath and explain to I would be paying FULL PRICE for the pastrami. Acneboy again says the coupon is no good for premium sandwiches. It seems I can't spend more money to get the free sandwich. Out the door we go with nothing. Here's yer sign!!

Welcome to my world.

I have been told I have a unique way of describing the things I see as we spin out of control on this rock we call Earth. So after a bit of thought and a bit of encouragement from a few friends I have decided to share with the rest of our round rock inhabitants my daily experiences with the Human race. I know the language may be a bit much sometimes but I will do my best to remain politically correct. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry but if you know me at all you should know better. I hope you all enjoy.

ATM Adventure

60+ year old white lady with dreadlocks doing her best Rastafarian act at the ATM: Are you waiting for the machine?
Me: Yes Ma'am.
Granny Marley: Can you stand farther away?
Me: I can't get any farther away without being in the parking lot.
Granny Marley: There's a law against being too close.
Me: Lady I have a little girl with me. You think I am going to mug you with my daughter here?

Proper way to make a left turn: Slow and activate left turn signal. Check for clear traffic and make left turn.

Improper way to make left turn: Pull to the right just enough so the vehicle behind you cannot get past and stop for no fucking reason. Look around like the single-digit IQ knucklehead you are, realize you have no idea what the hell you are doing operating a motor vehicle and then make left turn from the far right side of the road IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!